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Tuesday, May 31, 2016

Trust Within The Lord

The older and older I get the more I am presented with challenges and obstacles in my life, and I know that I am suppose to grow stronger from it. The past two weeks have certainly been an emotional roller coaster on deciding what to do about one of my passions in life. I prayed to my Heavenly Father to seek guidance, and that my heart and mind would be sound what ever the outcome may be. Instead of closing a chapter in my life, I was hoping that it would be the section that ended. I accepted responsibility for closing one door in Arizona, and stayed strong through the guidance of the Lord. While one door was closing I found comfort in knowing that other avenues in my life would continue to progress. 

I am a very invested individual, and I put my heart in soul into the things that make my life rich and full of passion. Recently I learned that thing that makes me excited to wake up in the morning is going to be coming to an end. I find myself shaking as I write this because it feels more real by putting my emotions into words. I trust that the Lord will lead me on the straight and narrow path, but I find myself having a difficult time understanding where to go from here. Lately I have felt immobile, and frozen in the same spot. I intend to fill my day with everything I need to do , but find myself sitting in my office, staring at the closet mirrors, becoming lost within my own mind on what to do. I shut down, and find it hard to tell myself that life will start to feel normal.

I love what I do, and the people that are apart of it. When reading through my messages today I was reminded of the love I have for these people that make up the community. The expression of a tearful smile came when I read "Stay strong, stay fierce."
It breaks my heart to let it go, and don't know what will be the thing to puts the pieces back together. All I can do now is keep my trust in the Lord that everything is going to be ok, and that this aching pain that fills my heart will soon go away.

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